10.25.2001

"how empty of me to be so full of you" ~ jj

8.28.2001

MY IDEAL LIFE…
living on a beach… working only 6 months out of the year… working from home… having a huge studio all to myself… shelves and shelves of paints and brushes… canvases stacked up against the wall… paint splatters covering the floor…
I don’t need lots of money. I just want to be financially secure. Not to have a big expensive house or beautiful things… but not to have to worry about money. With my job being so unsteady right now… and being used to a comfortable lifestyle… I’m beginning to realize how ambitious I am. Quietly ambitious… but ambitious.

I think about getting older… I’m turning 25 this year and I feel the need to establish myself in the art world. The world outside of animation. I don’t know if I want to work in that industry for the rest of my life… there’s so much more out there.

Change is scary... But without it life would be boring.
I have this problem... not with everything... but sometimes i'm afraid to start something because i'm afraid i may not meet my own expectations. I'm not the biggest risk taker... but sometimes i surprise myself.

Someone once told me... "If you don't have any expectations... you won't be dissapointed..."

I'm such a typical capricorn... it's scary.

Do you believe in astrology... in the stars?
ANSWER ME NOW: bootz_@hotmail.com



THE COUNT DOWN BEGINS…

I’ve booked my ticket home to Montreal for the 11th of September. I can’t believe I’ve been in Vancouver for almost two months. You would think for the amount of times I’ve come home to visit, I would be used to the run around. On a day where you have no plans when you wake up in the afternoon… suddenly you’re doing a million things. There’s just not enough days in a week.

And now there’s only two weeks left. One of which I have to spend working.

Samara is in Victoria hangin’ with her sister this week. We would like to get some camping in before we go. But oh how the time is ticking….

I’ve sent my resume out to a couple studios in Montreal. But all I can think about is painting. I’m going to try to spend less time working when I get back. Maybe try and put a show together and advertise in art galleries around Montreal. Maybe I’ll even advertise in NY.

Samara and I are still trying to figure out what we are going to do when we get back to the east coast… Well… we’re not really talking about it now. It’s a touchy subject.

How much are you willing to sacrifice for your passion… for love… for a relationship?
ANSWER ME NOW : bootz_@hotmail.com

8.24.2001

8.23.2001

WELL.... WELL...

Finally... this thing works.
So... I've got about a million things going on in my head right now and I am not really dealing with any of them. Oh, the queen of procrastination strikes again. I am not in a position to deal with some things. Like looking for work... although I did send my resume to another studio in Montreal... they said they may have something in the fall. Looks like i'll be suckin' up some unemployment insurance for a while... i'm not complaining. I'd like to have some time to paint.
Samara and I spent some time down in Seattle last week.(if you are ever looking for cheap accomodations, don't bother with any motels in Aurora... hairy beds... dirty bathrooms... nasty. We ended up forking it up for the Ho Jo) We were scoping it out for a possible site to set up home base, hmmm... I have some reaserch to do on working in the USA... but if it all works out... Seattle is pretty cool.

We still don't know how we are getting home. We checked out some ride boards at a couple hostles downtown... we've only heard back from one and he doesn't want Lewis... : (

Oh... i don't know... i don't know...

It's a stressful time.

8.03.2001

Surprise, surprise….
Samara, the lil’ sneaky devil, surprised me last night. Steph told me that a friend of hers was coming up to Bowen to spend the night. “Whatever..” I thought….
So we drove down to the ferry terminal to pick up “Jinny” when…………..
My beautiful traveler stepped off the ferry. It was raining and dark when I spotted her… I squinted and gave my head a shake…. “Is that?….” “IT IS!”
She flew out of Ottawa on a 5:15 flight. She did it. She sucked it up and got on a plane. Awe… my brave little traveler…With her wet hair and her backpack
I was completely surprised… totally clueless as to the covert operations between my mother, my sister, Michelle, Steph and the sneaky devil.

8.02.2001

up in the clouds...


I’ve been out west for 3 weeks now… which means 3 weeks away from Samara. It’s been rough, but she is now on her way, driving across the country in a van filled with 5 others and a dog. We have planned to stay until the end of august. Our return date is still up in the air. As per usual… our plans are all over the place.

At this present time I am on Bowen island with Lewis. My buddy Michelle was up here the first night… but she had to go back for work. We are up in the clouds staying at a house that Steph (aka envirogrrll) is house sitting. Since I’ve lived in the big city for so long, I am so overwhelmed by nature. We’ve been hiking and have seen 5 adult deer and two babies… wood peckers… all sorts of birds… and the remains of what looks like a baby shark, washed up on the beach (apparently they are called six gill sharks and can grow to be 12ft long… no more ocean swimming for me. Enviro Grrll has been teaching me a thing or two about the wild life and foliage around here.)

Lewis is having a blast. She’s been swimming and booting around the woods with Milly, another dog that’s up here too. I love watching her outside. The cutest was when she saw the deer. She sat in the middle of the road, ears at attention and just watched them. I wish I had taken a picture.

Much of our time spent up here has been in the hot tub. Last night Steph and I watched a scary movie from the comforts of the steamy water. Sippin’ Corona’s and watching lightning just over the hill. The weather has been somewhat crappy, but that’s no reason to stay out of the tub. And it looks like another movie night in the tub tonight. I just can’t get enough.

Being out here and having spent a few days with Christie up at Shuswap lake has got me thinking. I want a place in the woods or some water front property. Time to start taking my parents financial advice, I guess.

I’ll be heading back to the mainland tomorrow. Samara will hopefully be here by Monday. I might have to go pick her up in Revelstoke or Golden… I’m so excited to see her.

Gay pride is on Sunday… Let’s all pray for some sunny weather.

Well… I hope this first flog…* ahem * I mean, blog…. Is of some interest to you…. I’ll update it soon.